Dr. Adrian sustained a spinal cord injury when she was 11 years old. At the time of her injury, more than 30 years ago, spinal cord patients were kept in the hospital for an extended period of time. In addition she was not allowed to do any schoolwork, so she lost a year of school. Although it was the practice to send children with disabilities to a special school, Dr. Adrian’s parents did not believe that this was best for their child and succeeded in having her attend her regular school. The school was not equipped for handicapped children, of course. This meant, for example, that she had no access to a bathroom to empty her catheter bag and could not go to lunch in the cafeteria with her friends. In high school the school wanted her to take a mechanical drawing class rather than algebra, because the algebra class was in an upstairs classroom. The problem was solved by having four football players carry Dr. Adrian and her wheelchair upstairs for class every day – which she said was the closest she ever got to a football player! The problem persisted into college, where she would sit outside a classroom and wait until she could persuade some passing males to carry her up the steps into the building.

In addition to lack of physical facilities, disabled students were generally not accepted socially, either. She felt that she was always “the girl who had had the accident”. Boys did not date girls in wheelchairs. Even her father expressed to her that she couldn’t expect to date until she was 27 (she never understood the significance of 27). The repeated suggestions that she was not sexually desirable and her lack of dating experience took her into young adulthood without dating social skills and with the feeling that she was “lucky” if anyone dated her. This contributed to her getting into a bad relationship and staying in it for two years, in spite of him giving her a STD on two different occasions.

She ended that relationship and entered into another relationship with the man she married and with whom she has three children. Her first pregnancy brought a new set of revelations. Although she saw her obstetrician throughout her pregnancy, when it was time to deliver the baby, he commented that he didn’t know how they were going to get the baby out, but they would figure out something. She suddenly realized that he had never considered the impact of her spinal cord injury on delivering the baby. He proceeded to get the forceps and deliver the child (who was fine). The irony was that she was fully dilated and just about ready to deliver when the doctor arrived. The forceps were totally unnecessary. She had doctors for her later deliveries who were more knowledgeable and worked with her. She is able to feel a contraction (in her carotid arteries) and to push to deliver the baby. A problem that one might not consider is the difficulty of doing wheelchair transfers and not tearing episiotomy stitches. For her last delivery the doctor used massage to relax the perineum, and she was able to deliver without an episiotomy.

She eventually divorced the father of her children. She does not feel that the physical details of her disability were a factor in her divorce, but the does feel that her disability’s impact on her psychological development did play a part. After the divorce she was going to graduate school full-time, working full-time and raising three small children, the youngest of whom was 15 months old. Her life at that time was a matter of just surviving from one day to the next. Later she met the man she has been with for many years now. Through all of this she had a very low self-esteem. Although she had a doctorate and a good job, she had little money. She felt that she brought nothing to the relationship with her current partner. Eventually she realized that just allowing this man, who had no children, to be a part of the lives of her children was a very significant gift. Research has shown that, like Dr. Adrian, women with disabilities score low on self-esteem, even when they are successful.

Dr. Adrian has never lived in a home that was properly adapted for her wheelchair. To get to the bathroom, she transfers to a regular chair with wheels and then to the toilet. At one school in which she was working, this resulted in a fall from the chair when she was eight months pregnant. When her son started school, she asked for a ramp to be able to visit her son, the teacher, etc. The principal informed her that they had to make arrangements for the children, but not for parents of the children. He went on to say that whenever she wanted to visit the school, she could call ahead and the principal would have the janitor meet her outside and bring her in. This is what she did for the three years her son attended the school. In spite of ADA, she continues to have access problems. At the college in which she teaches, the controls for the AV equipment are at her eyebrow level, and the school has not been willing to provide a lower control panel. She does hope to have an adapted home some day.

She is concerned about the future. Her skin is getting thinner now and will be more prone to breaking down. Her doctor does not have an electric examining table, and getting on and off table will become more difficult. She has borderline hypertension. Her partner is ten years older than she. What if he can’t help her or needs help himself? What will happen to the quality of her life, if she is not able to teach to age 65?

Dr. Adrian’s goal in teaching future special education teachers is to try and spare today’s children from the series of innocently-intended comments that were made to her - from boys in high school who ignored her to her father-in-law who asked his son before the wedding what he intended to do for sex – right in from of Dr. Adrian. When a message is repeated frequently enough – that one is not a desirable sexual partner – it is difficult not to internalize the message.

Dr. Adrian concluded by saying that she is generally upbeat. She feels that there are bigger things out there than her problems. She gets lots of affirmation from the kids she teaches. Or maybe she is just bull-headed.